The Disconnected Series, Volume I

Sometimes I want so badly to purge myself on these digital pages and empty my emotional resevoir of all its contents. But I slowly come to realize, that I am not in need of that kind of therapy anymore. Everyone needs to vent sometimes, but in the process of growing up fast, I lost the need to act out as a result of not knowing how to handle myself.

I played those three punk rock chords hard for many years, and lived the life of every outsider teenager. My ideals were tattooed into my very skin so that I would always hold true to them; unity, equality, truth, and justice. I marched, rallied, protested, demonstrated, and lived for what I believed. But we all grow up, right? And not just in the stagnant growing into oblivion way, we all grow up to gain perspective on our lives and most importatnly that which makes us who we are. At some point, our childhood becomes our adolescence, and our adolesence becomes our attitude. The preverbial punk rock doctrine of beliefs, which in its own right is a contradiction of the punk ethic. It means nothing of course, but it is not completely valueless.

There were many armchair sessions spent talking about my father, with whom no descernable relationship existed, even though I saw him every day. Neither of us grasped that concept of communication, which is now spread over 300 miles and a telephone bill. He sends me checks in the mail every month, and somehow, without guilt, I cash them. We're still trying to make it work, the only way we know.

Spin Me Right Round Like A Record Baby

I've been bidding on a couple of records on ebay recently. Simultaneously I have gotten a new love for ebay, while also reminding myself how much I love vinyl. Not that anyone cares but I bid on the album "Sudden Death Overtime" by the
straightedge band Slapshot and won. I got it extremely cheap especially since the record is totally out of print and in near mint condition. When it comes to music, I'm a snob and total nerd. Record collecting is what I do instead of drugs and alcohol, it keeps me sane and happy. But for the last few years I have neglected my records and now I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do.

Growing Up

I've been sitting at the computer typing and backspacing for twenty minutes trying to hammer out the opening line. I've looked over the disheveled apartment for some inspiration, but a sleeping basset, and cat that"s cleaning herself on the back of the couch are lacking in epiphanies. I ate cereal for dinner because last night when I went through the drive-thru at Taco Bell, the guy taking my order recognized me. I don't think I have ever felt so fat. Definately going to the gym tomorrow. Maybe I'll run five miles.
"Punk rock won't pay the bills, so we've gotta get started early."-Milo