Session of Little Intrest
Current mood: catalyzed

I want to write, but the words are lost. I was lying in bed earlier, wide awake with stray thoughts; all but gone to me now. I want a better understanding of myself and why I am the way I am. Ultimately I am constantly trying to dissect every random feeling or thought that finds its way into my consciousness. It's no good, at least not right now. I'm too easily distracted. My cat is snoring. The day is wearing on me, and what's left of my momentum is being reserved the restless dreams I seem to be having so much more often these days. I don't ever try to figure them out, mostly because I don't care, but also, I'm not sure they're worth it. Five more minutes of fighting with my need to verbally express myself tonight. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow. Maybe something will become more clear to me, maybe I will have a better sense of myself. Maybe, or maybe it'll be exactly the same.

"Sometimes you walk the line, sometimes it walks you"

Sitting here, staring at the TV, thinking back on all the things I thought I had to say... I don't know if it's really worth it now. The later it gets into the morning, the more I rethink many of the things that have brought me to this point. Still struggling to better understand a person I have known my entire life. It almost seems that sometimes the decisions we make enable our inevitable internal cloaking. Do we discover who we really are, or do we become who we need to be in the moment? Are we products of our environment, or are we products of each environment?