a critical moment of clarity and determination

it's nearing my bedtime and at this moment, i am wide awake... the soft glow from the computer screen, and the distant snoring of my basset are comforts in this otherwise empty house. i suppose though, "empty" isn't really accurate. i have stuff, in fact, i would argue i have too much stuff and though i try to consolidate, it never does any good. i think it really only makes room for more stuff.
-she's drifting off to sleep now. i can tell as her breathing becomes steady.
tomorrow is approaching faster than i'd like to admit...school, work, gym, dinner, sleep. my version of a normal existance. recently, a coworker broke his elbow on the job, and is currently out of commission for the next few weeks, leaving five unwanted shifts to be covered by the rest of us. i took tuesday, in addition to the forty plus hours i already work. i'm not really complaining. i love my job, and i'd rather have more hours and less time to spend money.
-there's a soft mutter into the phone. must be dreaming.
mona, the basset hound, is stirring on the couch. she realizes i'm not there and starts to get concerned. sometimes she's very maternal. she found a new place to sleep now, amongst the clean laundry i haven't put away yet. i spent thirty minutes tonight with my body pressed against an industrial dryer at the laundromat because the door wouldn't stay closed otherwise. it was not awesome. everytime i go to this laundromat, i wonder why i came to this laundromat...i must have passed three on the way to that one. habit i guess. fear of change.
-her breath is faint but steady, and i am assured of her serenity. one of my greatest concerns.
tomorrow is officailly today, and has been for seventy three minutes. my normal bedtime falls somewhere between 1am and whenever i fall asleep. last week i think i fell asleep on the couch three times, only to wake up sore in the neck with daybreak slipping through the blinds. i suppose that's just another aspect of the life i've chosen, or perhaps simply an aspect of my youthful indiscretion of responsibility. maybe i'll grow out of it.
-i love her fully, with simplicity and complexity in complete alliance. soon, cell phone minutes won't separate our sleep.